(Part II of III) Summer, 2005 — Naples, FL The one constant for all of us is the medication. The pills become identifiers, ways for us to understand each other in the briefest possible terms. My assigned regimen is child’s play, Olivia assures me: Paxil in the morning, Xanax three…

(Part I of III) Early summer, 2005 — near Ft. Myers, FL I didn’t realize it until I was walking out of the plane and into the Southwest Florida International Airport: I have no idea how I am getting out of here. Very little practical information had been registering over…

August 28th, 2003–eastern Ohio Ironically, the drive there is short and unremarkable. I was an incoming freshman at a small-town university, joining the roster of its swim team. Months earlier, I had been enraged to discover that two other students from my high school would also be joining me, and…

All love affairs have an origin story, but love at first sight experiences have invisible roots forming for years before eruption. Once sprouted, these buds of May are stunning in their infancy, irresistibly blessed by fortune. And over a life span there will be wilting and death, sometimes out of…

Final Terms and Conditions (Part I) On March 15th, 2012, I drank what was to be my very last shot of vodka around 8:55 AM, in the house of my boyfriend who had just gone away to rehab. It was the day where I followed that shot of vodka by…

The Songs That Kept My 2021 On Its Axis Jean Dawson (feat. Mac DeMarco) — “Menthol*” Jean Dawson is making music for those of us keeping our candles lit and taking up space, even though the air feels more than a little poisonous. 26 year old Dawson grew up in…

The Mythical They I first heard the term from my coach and breathwork practitioner, Iona Holloway. The dreaded they — gatekeepers blocking me from being truly visible as an artist, dooming me to a thirsty prairie optimistically called “creative block”. Fran Lebowitz would argue that blockade was the better term…

It’s the tiredness for me. When you have a physically sick child, an emotionally battered spouse, perpetually energized animals and a home that can’t be entered due to quarantine, the tiredness that descends is like a night terror witch pinned to your chest. A cloud of brain fog and weakness…